Because I'm in the midst of finishing my thesis.
One of the difficult things about an e-journal like this is that I am afraid to admit my sins and shortcomings the way I would in a book that I kept locked in a dresser drawer. But it very well may be the blessing I need, as well.
I need to be honest that my academic work and trajectory sometimes gets in the way of my spiritual life. And by sometimes, I mean most of the time. I'm most often more comfortable reading about God or writing theological works than praying to God. Of course, these can be acts of prayer, but only insofar as I actually address God as present, immediate, and active in a relationship with me.
So, I'm struggling now, especially because the thesis is due Tuesday, and is requiring much of my attention, not only away from prayer, but from family and friends, from other classes and from the call process. I'm not complaining or whining here. I knew what I signed up for when I began the STM. But that doesn't mean I need your prayers any less at this point in time.
So, if you have a moment, please pray for me. That my spiritual life might be renewed as I complete my thesis. That I might actually be able to take up Tim on cigar escape offers in the near future. That the Holy Spirit might continue to guide the call process and give me discernment into the important things I need to see. For Michelle (and Stanley) to have a resilience and a strength as I am preoccupied, and that I might become more attentive despite the work required of me. You know, any one of these things. Or all of them.